It's strange. You graduate and then you're free. Everything you've been working towards for likely four long and challenging years is finally in front of you. But at the same time, it is like a blackhole. You say goodbye to your best friends, your professors, mentors and separate living and in most cases travel back home to live again like you're in high school. You practically revert back to your 14 year-old status and lean on your parents for a roof over your head and probably food to fill your stomach. Sure, you have the occasional night out, but they're not like those college party nights when there's nothing keeping you and your friends from getting blind drunk, causing a massive ruckus and then laughing hysterically about it later. Say goodbye to those late night drunk meals, sitting in the nearest burger joint for three blocks, stuffing yourself with french fries and guzzling water to sober up for the walk home.
* If you're reading this and you're still in college-- enjoy every moment you have. People say it's the best time of your life, and I'm hesitant to agree that you can only have one "best" portion of your life but so far it definitely takes the cake. Anyway back to the rant... It's weird because you go from complete independence to your parents continually keeping track of your whereabouts (even if it's completely innocent and not trying to be helicopter-y). You go from walking a flight of stairs to access your friends, to FaceTiming long distance, hoping the person on the other end is awake. Your whole world is toppled and you're sitting there like, I thought this was the beginning of something great. Why does it feel so horrible? And to make things marginally worse, EVERY SINGLE person you come into contact with is saying, "congratulations." Meanwhile you're screaming internally because you just want to go back to college, you don't want to be congratulated that it's done, you want to crawl back to your professors pleading for another paper to complete. If you've made it this far, congrats (see what I did there...) ! Because I'm now going to enlighten you on what I did to make things in my life more clear after I finished university. You'll Need To Occupy Your Time & Earn Some Quick Cash: So presumably, you're going to need a job, any job to give you some cash for the coming weeks or months where you'll be applying to countless job opportunities and never hearing back. Yes-- that's a thing that happens. And yes, it sucks. For some reason, I don't think I thought about how hard it would be to secure a job after graduation--I just wanted to get to graduation (see how ironic that one is--trust me, I do). But take it from me, and every single person who told me so-- it ain't as easy as applying to three jobs and hearing back in a day or two. I believe at the end of it all, I applied to upwards of seventy different job opportunities and heard back from possibly eight or nine. Oh and by heard back I mean I received an automated email sent to all of those who got rejected. Nothing like that to brighten your morning. But seriously, it's hard, and it's fatal. You begin to feel unworthy of any position and that your degree cost you a fortune only to get you nowhere. See or Confide In Someone To Process Your Emotions: Your friends are a great resource. But if you're like me, your friends seem to have their sh*t together and already have jobs lined up for the following September (love you guys--but you know I'm right). So you let your emotions out, and they don't go anywhere constructive. They just go straight back to that pit in your stomach, egged on by the blackhole in your head. So this is where you need to employ someone you can process things with. I started seeing a therapist and it has honestly changed how I look at my life and my circumstances. She's a really great help with processing my anxiety and constructively feeds me information about how I can correct my thinking patterns. Find Faith in the Unknown: This is daunting and if you're like me, the unknown provokes immense amounts of anxiety, but in all seriousness you just have to find a common ground with this strange in-between period. You've got to let yourself down and be okay with it. And above all else, you have to have faith that nothing is permanent. You'll get the job and you'll figure your life out, it just doesn't have to happen all at once. But guys, the great part is, when you're least expecting an opportunity to come along, it does. I'm starting my first day of work tomorrow, and the next chapter of my life is about to begin. It's scary, extremely scary. But as much as I'm scared sh*t-less to start, I'm actually strangely excited for what this next chapter will hold. I'm putting faith in myself in the face of the unknown. That's all for now. I hope this rant-style post was somewhat helpful, and maybe inspires you channel positivity towards whatever you're searching for in life right now. As always, much love. xoxo -B
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Back in January I decided I wanted to make a collected effort to keep tabs on my resolutions this year. I've always made New Years resolutions but I've consistently let them slip to the side, neglecting to check-in with myself until the next New Years Eve when I was writing down a whole slew of other goals for the subsequent year.
If you're like me, then my suggestion for you is to journal every week. Journal a little bit about your feelings, thoughts, and don't forget to reflect on how you could have changed your actions or way of thinking to improve your outlook on goals you've set for yourself. I know A LOT of people who set a weight loss goal for every new year. It's so hard to keep to that goal & life happens. This is why you see a surge of people at the gym on Jan 1st but a littering by the end of March. If you set goals that you know your chances of meeting are next to impossible then you let yourself down in the process. So set goals that are more realistic, broad or simple. Instead of setting a goal of how many pounds you plan on losing, set a goal to stop eating as many sweets or have one good workout every week or take walks everyday. If it's achievable then you are more likely to stick to it, and not burn out after a month. So what were my 2019 New Years resolutions? ~ RESOLUTION #1: FEEL HEALTHIER ~ RESOLUTION #2: LEARN TO ACCEPT BAD DAYS ~ RESOLUTION #3: SCHEDULE OUT TIME FOR MYSELF ~ RESOLUTION #4: PICK UP A NEW HOBBY & ACTUALLY DO IT REGULARLY ~ RESOLUTION #5: MEDITATE MORE OFTEN & TAKE TIME TO PAUSE DURING EACH DAY ~ RESOLUTION #6: WRITE & READ MORE OFTEN ~ RESOLUTION #7: LEARN TO LET GO & MOVE ON ~ RESOLUTION #8: SPEND LESS TIME ON SOCIAL MEDIA So have I actually stuck to my resolutions? The short answer is no. Not entirely. But, and let's take this example for instance. I wrote out this entire blog post once before and for some reason I accidentally deleted it. So here we are again (well again for me, first time for you). And I'm coming back to finish this, because I'm trying to learn how to let go and move on. And I'm trying to do it successfully...granted I'm not perfect. I feel healthier. I go for runs three or four times a week and I feel better because I indulge in chocolate when I want to (it's my kryptonite). I have tried learning to accept bad days (it's not easy but there's a reason its says "learn"), I've tried scheduling time out for myself but to no avail...I think I'm better at taking time for myself when I feel like I need it and not based on a schedule I write at the beginning of every week. I've nearly filled an entire journal with thoughts, reflections and the occasional to do list (my hobby for this year). I meditate after I run, so not everyday but often enough. I choose reading over watching television more now than before (it varies but I would still say I've started putting reading in front of watching in terms of things to do to relax). I haven't one hundred percent learned to let go and move on but I graduated college and I'm going through a bit of a life transition which very much requires me to move forward and not dwell on moments passed. And the last one. The dreaded one. Well I haven't spent less time on social media but I do set certain limits for myself. At least an hour before I know I want to be sleeping I will turn off my phone & read a book instead of mindlessly scrolling. I hope this inspires you to create and keep track of your resolutions because it's actually very satisfying to look at goals you're are successfully achieving or making steps to achieve. It gives you something you can control and something you can feel good about. That's all for now. As always, much love. xoxo -B |
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